Shame is a Motivator

Shame is apparently a good motivator for me
37.5 minutes and 3 miles later.  Walking in the cover of darkness is actually freeing, no one to judge my form or figure.  Although, I was worried about running into some deer, a wild raccoon, or a pothole. With my favorite tunes setting my pace on my iPod and the metronomic swing of the dime-sized light hanging from the earbud cord, I managed about a 12.5 minute mile.  Not too shabby, and my attitude must have swung with the light because I am feeling better about "me."

Background
For three years I walked the local 1/2 marathon.  The first one was just an attempt to finish the race before the time allotted for the race ended.  With only  6 miles as my longest trek, I approached my first 1/2 with no small amount of trepidation.  Goal:  Don't leave in an ambulance and beat the street sweeper following the end of the festivities.  I had 3 1/2 hours to finish, but managed to finish in a bout 3 hours and 23 minutes.  Goal achieved, but I could barely walk for several days.

Year 2:  Goal:  Be able to walk better after the race.  I worked harder to be in shape using a schedule my husband found on the Internet and had a accomplished 13 1/2 miles before the race began with a period of rest in the week before.  What a difference!  My time was about 10 minutes faster, and I could actually get up after I sat down at the conclusion of the race and walk the next day without groaning (too much).

Year 3:  Goal:  Beat last year's time.  And I did!  I made it in under 3 hours: 2 hours 59 minutes!  What a thrill!  I was almost 25 minutes faster than the first year and beat some of the runners to the finish line!  

Year 4:  Goal:  Gain 10 pounds.  Not really, the goal I mean, but I really had gained the weight. A broken ankle 8 months prior was soothed by the healing power of Peanut M&Ms, which put me on the sidelines.  I am sure there is valid research about their healing properties somewhere, so it is surely worth the poundage for strong bones. They were dark chocolate.

This year:  The 10 pounds is still my companion, walking has been spotty, attitude is poor, and the 1/2 marathon will pass without me.  Fail.  The odd thing is I like "me" in shape.  After year two,  I did P90X all winter and switched to walking in the spring.  I felt strong, flexible, and in shape.  By the way, P90X is powerful, and I actually felt all over better doing that than walking fast, but I need the walking to participate in the 1/2.

One thing I don't like about a 1/2 marathon:  They put your age in the paper and on the Internet; afterwards, everyone says, "I didn't know you were that old."  Bummer.  How about, "Man, you were fast!"  And, if they DO say that, it is qualified by "for your age" or "you beat people much younger than you."  I like keeping people confused about my age, not mass communicating it!  Consider yourself warned if you are thinking about walking a 1/2 marathon.

So, now what?
I could walk the 1/2 this year by drawing on my will-power (which did me so much good today) and then dying as I remove the chip from my shoe.  It would probably make the paper and the Internet, along the with a shocked headline about someone "my age" dying so "young."  See, it is "young" if you die at 53, but old if you are competing in a 1/2 marathon.  How would they decide which way to spin it?

Beside me, on the counter, is a Run/Walk Marathon Training Schedule. http://running.about.com/od/halfmarathonracetraining/a/runwalkhalfmarathon.htm
I think I can actually start on Week 3 and not collapse.

Why train with no possibility of the August 1/2 marathon?
Remember:  I need a new me.  I need to loose those 10 pounds so my closet and I will become friends again.  AND, there ARE other races.  Some 5K advertisements came in the mail this week, so.....hmmm. Right now, I will make a little pencil checkmark by Day 1 on Week 3, and make myself feel a little better about the "new me." Done.

(A side note about 5Ks.  They sound impressive because they are in kilometers.  Anything in kilometers sounds very smart and hard, but, really, I pretty much did that tonight.)