I think of Mary, Jesus’ mother, who “pondered these things in her
heart,” realizing I have been unknowingly pondering, and today I am finally
aware of it. What has awakened the sleeper in me? Perhaps it is the recently
decorated Christmas tree, five years absent the ornaments that belonged to my
daughter Megan and one week absent the ornaments belonging to my son Drew. Perhaps it is the knowledge that the
journey of motherhood, begun 27 years ago and repeated 25 years ago, has a
period at the end of it. . Rarely has that punctuation mark been so boldly evident
on the timeline of my life.
What does it mean?
I don’t know. But, it feels significant. It feels like it needs a marker. A memorial. Gracious words to wrap around it, spoken from a podium or a
soapbox - or a blog. Hm.
Intertwining has altered my adult life: the first, when I
became one with my husband, Max, the second and third time, with the birth of each
of my two children. Each new twist of my person around another person changed
the image of my life. With each, a
determination quietly germinated within, locking my heart to theirs and asking
that I give all to successfully nurture the transpiring fusion. It has been a loving, life’s devotion,
tied to my faith in the hand of God and his answer to my childhood
prayers. Solid love with a
spiritual binding is amazingly unbreakable.
But what do I do with the period?
Perhaps it is more like a semicolon; not a hard break, just
a longer pause to gather my thoughts and move forward…or gather more people?
Perhaps the intertwining, significantly noted on my life’s continuum, is being
strengthened with new strands: a son-in-law, Jon, has slipped into my heart;
sweet grandchildren Karlee and Kaidyn have wrapped me up; and a precious new
daughter-in-law, Mallory, has joined the bond. Look at all those
semicolons! Perhaps, my tears have
more in them than I first believed.
Perhaps it isn’t “perhaps.” It is.
My mind fights the past to gain the present, but I
understand the tears better, now.
What I have loved for so long is not lost; it has divided into new
branches and flowered. The soil of
my heart is being enriched with new elements; I still have nurturing to
do. Funny. My autocorrect just suggested a semicolon
in that last sentence: I thought it appropriate, considering. God is still answering my childhood
prayers, and I am still loving my family.
Period.
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